Mennonite Paradise
March 13, 2009 by Kip
Filed under Best Of KipTip, Dear Kip
[ Mennonite Paradise ]
Dear Kip,
I have been raised in a very strict and religious family. We are Mennonites and we live mostly up north close to the Canadian border but still in the USA. I don’t know if you heard of us, so I’ll explain.
For guys like is pretty simple: Be a good Christian, follow the Bible, stay clean, etc… But for us women, we wear head covering from very young age, always wear dresses, we can’t wear pants or skirts, and no dating or seeing men until we are at least 18 and baptized in the water. We are only home schooled and all of my friends are the same people that live by me, that go to school with me, and that go to church with me. We have to be the plainest and simplest people on Earth. I’m almost 19; I have no car, and no job. I can’t go anywhere without my parent. We have no TV and we can’t listen to the radio except for the local Christian channel. We have one computer in our community that sometimes I have the chance to secretly use.
I’m old enough to see what’s going on in this world and how much fun other girls my age are having. This strict religion, family and church is driving me crazy, sometimes I feel like running away and hooking up with the first random good looking guy that I come across and do everything I couldn’t do in the last 18 years.
Is there anything that I could do to have fun without really breaking my parent’s rules or becoming an outcast in my community? Almost every night I lay awake and try to imagining myself wearing pants. I even regularly dream about how it would feel and look if I wore pants! I once tried my dad’s pants when he was outside but it didn’t help… I don’t know what to do Kip. I heard there are a lot of religious people in Russia; maybe you know how to deal with this? I’m ready for a change and jeans!
- RELIGOUSLY NUTS
Dear RELIGOUSLY NUTS,
You are an adult and no one can force you to be something you’re not. Religion doesn’t save people but it can kill people. If Christianity is only a religion to you and not your life, then its only religion (religious people killed Jesus). You need to decide what is true and live it.
If what your parents believe is a bit over the top then find something with which agree with. Your parents will always love you no matter what path you choose.
You actually don’t have it that bad and your situation isn’t hard to get out of! Many Slavic kids (Russian, Ukrainian, etc.) have similar problems except a bit less extreme. You are very lucky. If you were 16, I would tell you to tough it out (or to attempt the solution), but since you’re almost 19, I have a very simple solution.
1. Get a job (Your parents will drop you off and pick you up so for now you’ll need to dress as they approve).
2. Sew secret pockets in all of your dresses.
3. When you have a few hundred dollars saved up, open a PO Box in your local town (for bills and packages).
4. Purchase and activate two GPS enabled Verizon Wireless phones. (The first phone should be top of the line but second can be basic.) Pay extra to activate the Chaperone service. Keep your cell phone on silent in your secret pocket.
5. When possible, hide the basic GPS phone in the trunk of your parent’s car. (You will need to recharge the battery every week so you might need to purchase an extra battery for that phone)
6. Use the internet at work and assign a few zones on the Chaperone service which your parents visit (your community, shopping mart, etc.) enable SMS alerts for when those zones are entered and exited. You will be alerted when your parent’s are near your work or any other zone that you’ve created.
7. Make sure that your boss is okay that you’ll store some clothes at work (in a locker).
8. Purchase jeans and other clothes that you like.
9. After your parents drop you off at work and leave, you can change out of your dress and into some jeans. When your parents are on their way back to pick you up or to surprise visit you, change back into your dress.
10. Your phone is also your connection to the outside world. So, browse the web, email, SMS, and etc instead of dreaming of jeans.
11. Save up money for your own car and purchase one.
12. Save up enough money to move out. If no one you like proposes to you during that time, move out.
13. Move to the state/city of your choice and eventually get married.
Problem solved!
But, the world is a messed up place, so if you are naive or if you can’t handle the world as it is, maybe you should stay near your community. The hardest part for most people is that wait from 16 to 18. Your wait is over, now do something about your problems.
PS: Jeans are everything that you imagined them to be! Oh, and… It’s a good thing that you’re not Amish! 
- Kip
Interesting subject. I actually lived close to a mennonite community, they seemed to be normal people, worked hard, had everyhting, owned many business’s, churhc goers, but you will never see one at like movies, bars, fun places, etc… Oh and yea, head coverings and long plain ugly dresses was the thing, a major turn off for most men.
But, dont hurry on moving away. Save up some money somehow, buy a laptop and get a wireless PC card with sprint, verizon or T-Mobile and surf the net like theres no tommorow. Once you get the hang of it, you will realize that the world isnt what it seems like, its actually a pretty nasty place, lots of crime, lots of backstabbing, etc… Might want to think twice before you move out on your own. If you decide to move out, make sure you have a way back in to your home if something doesnt work out.
Once you move out. Let it loose. Its the only way. Buy some seventeen magazines, playboy, swimsuit magazines and anything that looks good and get beauty tips, makeover tips and anything that can be of use. Go shopping at a good store, get something nice and flashy and hit the clubs. Night after night after night. Get drunk, do drugs, frak everyone you can and do what ever the hell you want to do. Sooner or later you will realize that the life you dreamed about is hell. Jail, getting pregnant and not knowing who the father is, DUI’s, overdose and spending a few days in the hospital under life support, STD’s, possibly death, etc…. and why care so much about pants/jeans, in a dress all you have to do is bend over lift the dress and let the work began, not like taking the pants off. lol.
But, every person should experience some stuff in their lives, good or bad, they must know. So whatever you do, good luck.
14. Stay away from Paul. He will take advantage of you and your internet wireless card!
This letter reminds me of…
No no no. Young lady you should stay home and and not break your daddies heart. You know there are things he wants to try too, but he knows how disappointed you would be if he did. Don’t think he doesn’t fantasize about wearing dresses and being a Mormon so you could have another mommy.
You have the ideal life. No car payments, no job to get laid off from, and no electric bills. If you leave home now you might find a job but you’re going to get fired when you don’t know how to turn the lights on. Then you’ll wind up sleeping under a bridge next to some demented old guy with hepatitis.
Now say your prayers, and get some sleep. The cows will need milking in a few hours.
“Save up some money somehow, buy a laptop and get a wireless PC card with sprint, verizon or T-Mobile and surf the net like theres no tommorow.”
I don’t know about Verizon or T-mobile, but [Current] Sprint broadband card data plans do not include unlimited data. You get 3 gigabytes per billing cycle, if you exceed the limit, you are now going on pay-as-you-go per kilobyte rate. In short, Sprint sucks. Be sure to thoroughly research and compare each data provider’s plans.
I think you could skip the Chaperone part of Kip’s solution and use your intuition instead. Also, if you are baptized in the water, you can begin to date, right? So, go for it. Just make sure your cell phone has a password your parents will never guess and find the best dating service out there.
it seems the religion where you are born follow the strictist form of social norms that should not be because our world today is different from the world we belong before. our world is in evolution keep on changing from time to time. what is not change is the 10 commandments of God. you can have your new style of dress but should be styled enough to nicely covered your private parts. or you can have your laptop, cellphone, other gadgets, nothing wrong with them as long as you have the money to buy. go outside, break the shell that covered your community. as long as you do good to others and follow what’s in the bible. that’s it.
*Correction to my last comment, I meant 5GB. Must have got 3G and 5GB jumbled up in my head when I posted the previous comment.
Ok, now the total deception is fine if you seriously want to get excommunicated but try this easier actually more acceptable road that doesn’t require you spending money, lying and trying to live a lie that living in such a community allows.
Since you are an adult NOW. Find a Mennonite community that is less strict. Don’t make the excuse that you are tied to one, you aren’t. You have to ask for permission to join the other church. Furthermore, joining another church if being Mennonite is something you truely believe in will help you find a husband if you are so inclined that is less likely to be related to you.
Many Mennonite communities actually ENCOURAGE women to get gainful employment as TEACHERS and NURSES, to be more than just home schooled. There are also Mennonite communities that allow women to drive actual cars, yes folks, actual cars, not sit in the back seat of the horse and buggy.
MY ancestors and relatives who are Mennonite come from both PA and VA. I was in a hospital in VA and was treated by a Mennonite RN. Yes she was wearing a headcover, but is wearing a headcover the worst thing in life that has happened to you??? If it is, be thankful. Many worse things could befall you than a simple headcover.
The reason you wear what you wear is so that you aren’t drawing attention away from the natural world that God created for you to be in. If you don’t believe this, Grow UP and go against your parents and your church if it is not what you believe nor have faith. Do all those things that lil miss tells you to do WITHOUT being HONEST, get caught ONCE and get Excommunicated and furthermore get out of a bunch of money you don’t have to begin with.
Think about lying seriously before you think of going down that road. Think of the consequences of getting caught ONE time just ONE time for any of the things she tells you to do. Then think of joining a less strict community where you won’t be ostracized for certain things. Look into wearing a headcover with jeans, I have seen it done, don’t think some communities won’t let it.
Hello to the young Mennonite lady. I hope that you will read and consider what I have to say before making any decisions to rebel against your family.
First, I was born and raised in Lancaster County, PA. My ancestors on my father’s side were ALL Mennonites dating back into the 1700’s. When my father was your age he left the Mennonite church for reasons of unbiblical traditions such as head coverings, pacifism, forced dress codes, etc. The point is though, he didn’t rebel against God and the bible. He left the Mennonite church and started attending an Independent Bible Church. I was raised in this church, and I am now a pastor.
As far as the jeans thing goes, I would like to ask what is your motive for wearing jeans? The bible teaches that women should wear “modest apparel” in 1 Timothy 2:9. This does NOT exclude jeans. A dress or skirt is more modest than a pair of tight fitting jeans, but there are times when wearing a dress or skirt is actually NOT modest. (Such as when playing sports, riding a horse or bicycle, etc.) An old preacher I knew once said, “The Lord doesn’t care what you do, He only cares WHY you are doing it!” Please ask yourself why you want so badly to wear jeans.
I would also like to warn against running after this world. I have met former Mennonites that now are messed up because they rebelled totally against their “religion” and went after what the world had to offer. I talked to one guy who’s arms were covered with tatoos, he had a hangover, had lost his job, and was claiming to no longer believe in God. The worst part was that his father was an elder in the Mennonite church! I also was shown a letter by a pastor friend of mine that he recieved from a young Mennonite man who was in prison in Florida. The young man was asking if someone could go and talk to his friends that he grew up with, and warn them not to go out after the world.
In closing I just want to say, PLEASE examine your motives before making any decisions. Do NOT take the advice of anyone on this page who is unsaved. Of course they will tell you to leave your parents, and go out into the world and “live it up.” Doing this will wreck your life. Instead I would recommend studying the bible, where you will find that much of Mennonite tradition is not really founded on scripture. You can contact me at my website; Kingjamesvideoministries.com. I will be glad to offer any help I can to you, in your search for truth. PLEASE don’t turn on Jesus Christ and his Holy word!
seeking a Christian, Amish, or Mennonite woman, am single, never married, 53, 6 fr. 1 inches, 190 lbs., have survived polio, 6 cancers, post polio too. Have job security in the medical/nursing/healthcare professions for my entire life, have 35 hobbies and go on 2 cruises/trips/month. Live near Boston, MA, can relocate for the right women, LOVE KIDS AND AM VERY FAMILY ORIENTATED!!! Am an old fashion Jewish Christian GENTLEMAN, one WHO WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON A WOMAN, WOULD TREAT HER C OVER 300% RESPECT AND ATTENTION AT ALL TIMES, HOLD THE CAR DOOR OPEN FOR HER, BE HERE FOR HER AND HER FAMILY 24/7 FINANCIALLY, EMOTIONALLY, SPRITUALLY AND SO MUCH MORE. HOW ABOUT ROMANTIC CANDLELIGHT DINNERS, WALKS ALONG THE BEACHES OF THE CAPE…APPLE PICKING, PICNICS, I TAKE THINGS VERY SLOW…HONEST INQUIRES ONLY…LADIES, THAK YOU FOR BEING BORN AND EVER SO VERY SPECIAL, YOU ARE WORTH IT! EVAN
evanbgessman@gmail.com:508-376-1048
I married into this type of thing, however we had to leave the church to be married because i cook food in a hospital in the US army. Very deconscending people..the higher the position of authority in the church the more prejustice they are…totally dogmatic. Hard working people with alot of respect…but they are sure that they are worth more as people than any other people on the planet. idk America is about religious freedom but persecution is a reward to them in thier little minds so they don’t really appreciate the freedom of american people, they have a greater appresciation for how pure they are compared to everyone else than anything. Typical Christians…sceured and bias belief in science… dogmatic principles of control and threats of hell and damnation for insubordination.