Bored With Life

 
[ Bored With Life ]

 

Dear Kip, 

My life has become very uninteresting to me. It’s not that I hate my life but rather the fact that I’m bored with it. Nothing seems to make me happy. My job, my hobbies, people that I know – it all seems to be a waste of time. I mean, I like hanging out with friends and all but at the same time it’s not what it used to be. Too much time I spend thinking about the pointlessness of it all. What’s going on with me?
 

- BORED BORED BORED

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Dear BORED BORED BORED,

You sound like you’re single and since you have been working for a period of time, you’re probably at least in your twenties. You are really missing out, but don’t worry, you can fix your problem! I’ve noticed a pattern in various problems that people have and all of those problems have just one solution. Grumpy old people, bitchy women and men, crazy single parent moms and soccer moms, huge Star Wars fan and Star Trek fans, and guys and girls with chronic acne, they need only one thing — to get laid! In no way am I advocating sexual promiscuity or adultery. Sex is the “root solution,” but the path to it should involve commitment, dating, courting, and marriage. While it is possible to be bored in a relationship and marriage, it is the duty of the couple to work on their relationship and marriage. 

While sex is the “root solution,” it is the path to it that helps solve your problem. You are alone; your friends grew up and moved on. It’s a good thing and you should do the same. Do not hold on to the past but move on with your life! Your boredom might go away when you have a girlfriend; be careful, it’s only a temporary fix. You need to continue on your path of healing. If sex is introduced early in a relationship, you’ll end up starting over again on the path, with someone else. Now if you’re having trouble getting a girlfriend/boyfriend…
 

Are you boyfriend/girlfriend material?

- How is your hygiene? 
– Do you shower?
– Do you brush your teeth?
– Do you shave your armpits?
– Do you trim your nose hairs and ear hairs?

- Are you healthy?
– How is your weight?
– Do you have all of your marbles?
– Does the glass have anything in it?

- Are you educated?
– Can you read and write?
– Do you have something to say?

- Do you have a job?
– Can you afford having a boyfriend/girlfriend?

- Do you get along with others?
– Do you get along with your mother?
– Are you able to have a conversation with someone without saying “like” 10 times?
 

Avoid getting caught up in work and school. Okay, so you become successful, rich, but what good is it if you are alone? Many people think that if you have a lot of money, you can get almost any guy or girl. Why would you want to be with someone that likes you because of your money? Go find that guy or girl of your dreams and enjoy life and have a lot sex! Now that’s what I call “Sexual Healing”…

 

- Kip