My Wife Is Also Married To Another Man!
August 1, 2009 by Kip
Filed under Best Of KipTip, Dear Kip
[ My Wife Is Also Married To Another Man! ]
Dear Kip,
My life has been like a sweet dream until now. Here is my story: I met this young woman in Buffalo NY back in 2004 while visiting my parents on vacation. We met at my uncles 57th birthday party and she seemed to know my family really good. We had a blast and we went out every night while I was there. We had a long distance relationship for about a year and a half and then finally decided to get together. She moved in with me in late 2005 and we got married the following spring. We have a 1.5 year old cute boy and she’s 3 months pregnant again. Here where my sweet dream became a nightmare. My wife of 4 years is married to another man. After accidently seeing some of her old paper work while looking for her car title, I stumbled upon a photocopy of a marriage certificate. My first question to her was, “Why didn’t you tell me before that you were married?” It turns out that the guy lives in Canada and they got separated, but never divorced. I’m really mad at her, and I don’t know what to do. Should I divorce her or force her to file for divorce where ever her other husband lives? After all, I now think that she got married to me just to use me and then get back with her "real" husband, but she denies it. I just want to know what other people would do in my shoes. Thanks in advance.
- THE OTHER HUSBAND
Dear THE OTHER HUSBAND,
Are you crazy? Maybe your shared wife needs more than one man to be satisfied. I’m kidding of course but it’s a possibility. No one is out to get your money. From what I know, your marriage is null and void in the court of law if she was married at the time of marrying you.
Let’s say she is using you, why have babies with you? You are the creator of your own nightmare. I’m not saying that she did the right thing by hiding her marriage from you. I’m not defending her, but it’s extremely hard to tell someone you’re in love with, that you are married to someone else… What if she really loves you and that she’s hiding from her past? She was probably afraid that she would lose you by revealing her secret to you. Could you not tell if her feelings for you were real? Don’t tell me that love is blind and that you don’t know; you have a second kid on the way.
If you were to buy a used car, would you not get a CARFAX report before buying it? If you’re such a paranoid person, you should have background checked her years ago. So put your conspiracy theories away and work out your problems with your wife. It’s pretty simple. She either divorces him and gets to be with you, or she leaves you for him, or finds a third husband, who knows…
This is your chance to restart your relationship with your wife with no secrets (background check her first). If you doubt that the kids are yours, DNA check them before “restarting” the relationship. Leave no room for mistrust.
Her actions do not give you a free pass at having a second wife. I’m sure one is more than enough for you.
- Kip
I’ve been married 26 years to the same woman. You should be glad she has another husband. I’m kidding too, kind of…
I agree with Kip, It doesn’t make sense to lose four years of your life and have a child with someone to ‘get even’ with someone. I think you need to pull yourself together and start thinking like an adult.
On the other hand, if you’ve been married four years and still don’t know if she loves you then you have bigger problems anyway. Are you sure you are not looking for an excuse to move on? If so, it’s a great opportunity. Too bad for the kid though, huh?
@Kip – Man Kip, you gave me a great idea with that whole CARFAX reference. I ran to see if ChickFax.com was available and some jerk already got it. Oh well lol
It’s pretty crazy… almost any name that you can think of — is registered!
My poor friend Tim, had to resort to registering a domain that like a red scarlet letter, brands him a thief. ( http://TimTheThief.com ) TimsCave, TimsWorld, TimsPlace, etc, all taken. LOL…
they allready have websites out their like chicfax, its a little different than what you would imagine, but its a great tool. Too bad theres only like .002% of people on there that you can check.
I’m a wife and the last thing I need is another husband…I could use another wife though…to do all the stuff I do everyday (except my husband, of course – this ain’t Big Love)
Can i be your second husband?
She doesn’t want another husband!
She said the last thing she needs. Im sure she has everything so the last thing would be is another husband. lol
Very clever Paul
Don’t listen to them. She is out to get your money!
~ hehe just kidding I dont know but she committed a felony in all states besides Utah. Or is it illegal in Utah too? I dont know but its odd how people think that your marriages gets voided if you got married in a different country. A marriage is a marriage is a marriage regardless if its Australia or Nigeria! Im just saying.
Thats a lot for someone to take in though and I think there will always be an element of distrust in a marriage where such a huge secret was hidden. Try to patch it up the best you can if you really love her I suppose.
I agree! She is out for your money man… the thing I learned in life, is that you cannot trust anyone but yourself…
One thing is for sure if you love her, she has a lot of explaining to do. If she refuses to answer and take care of all your fears, by reassuring you then you will forever have problems in this relationship. and you will never be able to trust her again, which could cause more problems in the future.