I Was Assaulted & Insulted By The Church Usher Mafia!
April 10, 2009 by Kip
Filed under Best Of KipTip, Rants
[ I Was Assaulted & Insulted By The Church Usher Mafia! ]
I recently quit attending my Slavic church. I should start by saying I’m in my early 20′s, but my body has yet to reflect my true age. As a result, people think I’m in my teens.
It all started when I went to church service in the evening. The service normally ends at around 9PM, and as 9 o’clock approached, I stepped into the lobby to wait out the remainder of the service. An usher asked me "what do you think ushers are here for?" to which I responded with "to ensure people aren’t being disruptive". The usher corrected me saying "to prevent people from rubbing up against these walls" (I was leaning against a wall in the lobby). After he and another usher finished their spiel, I walked out of the church and went straight to the car to wait for service to end.
My brother and a cousin (both under the age of eighteen) were already in the car. I guess I should mention we’re fallen Christians, sitting in church can be a bit tedious for us. The two of them decided to walk around the parking lot and so they did. Moments later I see them running with ushers close behind. The two stopped running and the ushers seized them. After forcing their arms behind their backs, the ushers dragged the two into a church office. After a few moments I decided I’d better see my brother and cousin to clear any misunderstanding. Upon exiting the car, I called my voicemail and began walking towards the church. Two ushers appeared and began walking straight towards me and I towards them (or rather the church). I put my phone away and as I approached the ushers both grabbed me against my will leaving me completely helpless. I didn’t run from them nor did I make sudden moves that would suggest I was going to run. It was quite the opposite, moments ago I was walking calmly straight in their direction. Why grab me if I’m not running away? I demanded they let go of me, I told them my age and that I was heading back into the church anyway. One said "we’ll carry you in hands and feet if we have to". After a bit of a struggle, they let me walk into the church on my own accord to join my brother and cousin.
Note that no crime was committed, and regardless of a person’s age, there’s no excuse for assaulting and treating a person roughly. I was once caught going more than 25 mph over the speed limit. This is reckless driving. The officer that pulled me over did not raise her voice at me or treat me inhuman.
Back at the church office they began yelling and arguing with us. One usher brought me a wastebasket and had me spit out my gum… a few moments later in the argument an usher called me a piece of shit. I think it’s a bit ironic that I’m asked to spit out my gum, because I’m in the church and yet here’s this toolbag of an usher calling me a piece of shit within the walls of the church. We couldn’t get much word in edgewise, when I started talking, one usher said "I’ll rip your throat out right now." Okay, perhaps that was an exaggeration on the usher’s part, I really can’t say either or… When you’ve got these muscular hunks of meat in your face threatening you in a church, a place where you should feel safe, you can’t be sure of anything! I was scared.
They explained to us that church members had things stolen from their cars and we can’t be in the parking lot. Okay, that’s understandable, but what did this have to do with me or even my brother and cousin for that matter. I wasn’t caught stealing anything, there was only 10 minutes of church left, I didn’t know church service would go at least 60 minutes into overtime. Furthermore, I’m not new to the church, I’ve been attending this church on and off over the course of 3 years. I’m not the first person to leave the church in the middle of service and go to the car or parking lot. As an adult, I expect to be treated as such, I can exit service as I please and enter a vehicle that I have permission to be in. I don’t dress like a thug or steal from my church. The whole situation felt surreal and ludicrous.
These ushers told my cousin and brother that because they’re still not 18 years old, they’d be given a warning, as for me I’d be handcuffed and the sheriff would deal with me. The situation was blown out of proportion and now I was threatened with arrest.
Let me remind you again that I’m inside of a church, and in church most people have heard of the 10 Commandments, specifically: "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."
Calling the police would either mean:
1. They were going to accuse me of a crime, thus bearing false witness
2. They were just threatening me to incite fear
3. They were completely stupid, wanted to flex their power, make an example out of me over a ridiculous minuscule thing like walking to the car and walking back.
In the end, they told us to sit back down and only leave when the service had ended. I would like to say their fear-mongering tactics worked on me. I’m pretty much a skinny defenseless guy. Being treated less than human, assaulted in the parking lot and threatened with the law has resulted in my decision to not attend that church again. I have nothing against the church; in fact the church as a whole is pretty awesome and closer to God than other churches. Perhaps some of these ushers are missing one too many sermons and turning into mongrels… I dunno. The usher system needs revisions and I would like apologies from the guilty individuals.
- Brutalized By Bastards
I should say up front I’m Buddhist and at one time a Christan. Sorry to hear about your harsh time in church. Not living or have been to your country or area I don’t know it’s politics.
As a Buddhist, we get to learn our metal, or who we be as individuals through our trails and the problems we run into. It’s also an opportunity to make positive changes to our environment.
I hope you have another chance to confront the ushers with and with out the police and clear up the misunderstanding. Maybe you and your brothers could volunteer to help the church.
The church is in the US so the politics should be fairly easy to recognize. However a lot of these slavic people think that they are above the law and can go militia style on others without any consequences.
If they were to call the cops the cops would laugh in their faces because no crime had been committed and they would’ve wasted time out of the day when there are more important things the police department can be devoting time to.
I would recommend that he gives the ushers a swift punch in the mouth and doesn’t come back to a place where he is treated so badly. There are churchs out there that are capable of conveying Gods love.. this one happens to not be one of them unfortunatly.
I’ve searched everywhere… Wikipedia, The CIA fact book, etc and I can’t find anywhere that says that “slavic people think that they are above the law and can go militia style on others without any consequences.” This is an important piece of information and you need to make sure it gets to the proper authorities. I don’t want to wander into any Slavs and get harassed!
You my dear have been privyed to some top secret information
keep on the DL or i’ll have to kill you
I’m just saying
What an assholes. I’d never go back there again and have someone break their legs.
Robin
I second your opinion
I would like to say that this is a classic example of why many fall away from church and essentially from God. When someone who is still searching to find the meaning of God and to understand if God is even real, actions like these send people over the edge where they refuse God in every way. Hell if I was treated like this by those people who are “serving” God why would I want to be in their group or like them?!
Its unfortunate that sometimes those who are on a wobbly path to begin with come to a church and receive this kind of treatment. Ushers are sometimes the only people that these guests encounter upon coming to a church. Ushers have the power to either show these guests that Gods love is all encompassing, understanding, and His grace is unlimited. Or they can show these people that because they chew gum God “hates them”. sounds silly right? Well how else would you interpret their actions if you have little understand of the real nature of God.
These ushers assume this responsibility without even thinking about it and destroy those who are lost. I firmly believe that God will one day ask of them for every action and for every mistreatment towards one of His children.
Its unfortunate that you had that kind of experience with the ushers in that church however your incident is not isolated. I have been to many Russian churches where this kind of treatment is prevalent. Thank God that new churches are rising up and replacing these other places of torture. I’ve heard story after story of people who have been in your shoes. I suggest that you go to another church. Keep in mind that the treatment these ushers showed you is not what God agrees with.
This is very sad! Most of the Slavic church that were started in the US were persecuted in the USSR. Now in the US, it seems that those that received a little “power” in the community (church) are abusing it and in a way persecuting other people (mainly younger generation).
I’ve heard that in once church, the ushers deal drugs and help their friends start using drugs. The ushers usually do hear nothing of the services and spend each Sunday hounding others.
I would want to be a member of a church where I would feel welcomed and not looked upon as the person that is going to run of with their video projector.
I couldn’t help but laugh at that last comment about the projector. We’ll love you if you come to Church or if you cut service for a weekend event. If you have to leave service early, so be it! Your attendance is between you and God. (Well, your spiritual father might have a comment.)
I’m so sorry that happened to you! If you make it to Hawaii, please visit our little Russian Orthodox parish. We promise to let you lean on the walls! Just don’t knock the icons off the wall!
Please try to find a parish to attend next weekend and sing with a loud voice, “Kristos Vos Krece!” (sp?)
How very unusual. Well, I haven’t been to the USA. I know churches from South Africa, France, Portugal, Germany, Spain and Tenerife in the Canary Islands. Never, did I hear of ushers, who behave like that. To be honest, it is not even clear to me what ushers of churches are. I remember men or women doing little services during mass such as helping with money collections by walking past the rows of church goers who sit inside the church.
Anyhow, perhaps, I am not clued up any more, as I seldom go to mass lately. It has nothing to do with being less believing or church friendly. There are other private reasons, I have for not being able to attend church.
Those ushers described sound like body guards of clubs or disco outfits.
Their job is often to control who may go inside or to kick out drunkards or other trouble stirrers.
Anyway, a church who employs ushers like that can’t be a real church in the true sense of it. I wouldn’t go there.
Um..is this the same guy that wrote you about stealing money from his church in your last post? Heh!
And that comment about the ushers being there “to prevent people from rubbing up against these walls” LAWL…that sounds perverted.
Nah, not the same guy. Pure coincidence!
Hmm, I see. So he’s just another religious nut who’s had a run-in with the law…makes perfect sense now.
Maybe they read your blog and saw your previous post about pinching stuff … !
Happy Easter!
Dude, man up and bust a cap in his ass. Getcherself a piece, stake out his crib, and pump two in his dome when he’s getting into his ride.
Now, if that street justice is too over the top, then man up in a lawful, law-abiding way. You, your brother, and cousin should go down to the local police station and swear out a complaint against the thugs who unlawfully imprisoned you and roughed you up. The three of you will corroborate each other’s story, and at the very least, the thugs will be inconvenienced by having to defend themselves, even if it never goes to trial.
Man up!