My Friend Is An Irritating Fool!
[ My Friend Is An Irritating Fool! ]
I’m so pissed at… my so called friend! We have been friends since we met at grade school (about 5 years old, were 25 now) and he was a quiet smart geeky guy… He is still a complete geek, but he doesn’t think he is, and thinks he’s cool now. He’s dated a few people, so he thinks he’s a stud now. Not only that, he was also dating Ms. X, my best friend. After he got her, he bragged to me about it as if I’d be ecstatic. He’s also cheating on my friend and what’s worse is that he offered me girl he chooses to dump, like I need his leftovers. His current girlfriend is Ms. A, or as he calls her, "my Polish girlfriend." He also has a "German" friend… I don’t know his name, that’s all he calls him. It’s like he’s a collector of foreign people.
He has to beat me at everything as well. I’m studying European languages at UNI and he’s doing a different course. All I heard from him is "I got straight A’s, I’ll earn £30k a year as a starting wage… You’ll only get £19k." But, not satisfied with doing better than me in wages, he decides to get an A in a foreign language… Japanese, "which is miles harder than any European language!" He’s came to that conclusion after he did a 5 week Japanese language course, can ask for a hamburger, and got an A in the course. In his opinion, that makes my achievements in French and German ridiculous… even though not only can I actually order anything I like from a pickle to a prostitute, I can have a conversation with anyone at least for 10 minutes before they realize that I’m not French.
Trying to be a true friend I approached him, took him aside as not to embarrass him and said…
Me: "Friend," you’ve been kind of a dick lately. You did well in your exams, well done… but after the 5 time hearing your results I ran out of "happy for you" and after the 20h time saying "A-A-A, A-A-A can’t believe it" and showing me the picture of your results (I have received about 4 or 5 pictures of the SAME screenshot, just the time and date changed at the corner of his screen.) I ran out of kindly bare and grin it… and it’s not just me other friends have said it too.
"Friend": Well, you all are just jealous because you’re all thick… I mean languages are a piss up, I proved that (IT WAS A 5 WEEK BEGINNERS COURSE!!!)
Me: No, I was happy for you… You were annoying but I knew that you didn’t know that you were annoying. That’s why I told you, but now you’re just a HUGE DICKHEAD!
"Friend": Look who’s talking? You never shut up about your language skills!
Well, right there I got so mad at him but a friend pulled me away before I punched him. It wasn’t because of what he said was hurtful, but he used his lying non-logic on me when I was trying to help him out.
A.) I never said anything about my French and German because he’d just brush it off and mention his grades
B.) He made it MY FAULT. How is it my fault? My only fault was trying to help him! I should have just let him lose all of his friends by letting him make them feel inferior!!!
I might have forgiven him eventually, but not now not after he went and did this afterwards….
"Friend": Sorry I was a bit rude just taken aback.
*Later on Msn when I unblocked him*
Me: hey how’s u?
"Friend": Still can’t believe it, A-A-A. A-A-A!
"Friend": And I spoke to a Japanese person the other day.
"Friend": just the general hey how’s you (cause it’s all he can say)
Me:… cool (sounds sarcastic in my head but not to him since he talks about this non-topical non-interesting conversation for ages)
*20-30 min later*
"Friend": So yeah, really proud I managed that conversation.
Me: Yeah so would I… Speaking of conversations, I talked to my French friend yesterday he’s invited me around when I go to France this summer
"Friend": Why do you have to make everything about you? Seriously?! I was talking about my conversation and you cut across with that (sounded like he was finished talking to me)
I know what you’re thinking… “He was joking obviously…” That’s what I thought until Mr. B, another friend who’s pissed at him because of his constant over-zealous pride, copied and pasted me their conversation.
"Friend": (Me) is at it again. Cut across me! I was talking about Japanese and he comes in with French!
(He copied and pasted our conversation to Mr. B, then when Mr. B realized what was happening, copied and pasted it back to me)
Wouldn’t you just want to kick him!?
- PARDON MY FRENCH