My Friend Is An Irritating Fool!
July 16, 2009 by Kip
Filed under Best Of KipTip, Rants
[ My Friend Is An Irritating Fool! ]
I’m so pissed at… my so called friend! We have been friends since we met at grade school (about 5 years old, were 25 now) and he was a quiet smart geeky guy… He is still a complete geek, but he doesn’t think he is, and thinks he’s cool now. He’s dated a few people, so he thinks he’s a stud now. Not only that, he was also dating Ms. X, my best friend. After he got her, he bragged to me about it as if I’d be ecstatic. He’s also cheating on my friend and what’s worse is that he offered me girl he chooses to dump, like I need his leftovers. His current girlfriend is Ms. A, or as he calls her, "my Polish girlfriend." He also has a "German" friend… I don’t know his name, that’s all he calls him. It’s like he’s a collector of foreign people.
He has to beat me at everything as well. I’m studying European languages at UNI and he’s doing a different course. All I heard from him is "I got straight A’s, I’ll earn £30k a year as a starting wage… You’ll only get £19k." But, not satisfied with doing better than me in wages, he decides to get an A in a foreign language… Japanese, "which is miles harder than any European language!" He’s came to that conclusion after he did a 5 week Japanese language course, can ask for a hamburger, and got an A in the course. In his opinion, that makes my achievements in French and German ridiculous… even though not only can I actually order anything I like from a pickle to a prostitute, I can have a conversation with anyone at least for 10 minutes before they realize that I’m not French.
Trying to be a true friend I approached him, took him aside as not to embarrass him and said…
Me: "Friend," you’ve been kind of a dick lately. You did well in your exams, well done… but after the 5 time hearing your results I ran out of "happy for you" and after the 20h time saying "A-A-A, A-A-A can’t believe it" and showing me the picture of your results (I have received about 4 or 5 pictures of the SAME screenshot, just the time and date changed at the corner of his screen.) I ran out of kindly bare and grin it… and it’s not just me other friends have said it too.
"Friend": Well, you all are just jealous because you’re all thick… I mean languages are a piss up, I proved that (IT WAS A 5 WEEK BEGINNERS COURSE!!!)
Me: No, I was happy for you… You were annoying but I knew that you didn’t know that you were annoying. That’s why I told you, but now you’re just a HUGE DICKHEAD!
"Friend": Look who’s talking? You never shut up about your language skills!
Well, right there I got so mad at him but a friend pulled me away before I punched him. It wasn’t because of what he said was hurtful, but he used his lying non-logic on me when I was trying to help him out.
A.) I never said anything about my French and German because he’d just brush it off and mention his grades
B.) He made it MY FAULT. How is it my fault? My only fault was trying to help him! I should have just let him lose all of his friends by letting him make them feel inferior!!!
I might have forgiven him eventually, but not now not after he went and did this afterwards….
*New Email*
"Friend": Sorry I was a bit rude just taken aback.
*Later on Msn when I unblocked him*
"Friend": hey
Me: hey how’s u?
"Friend": Still can’t believe it, A-A-A. A-A-A!
Me:…
"Friend": And I spoke to a Japanese person the other day.
Me:… …
"Friend": just the general hey how’s you (cause it’s all he can say)
Me:… cool (sounds sarcastic in my head but not to him since he talks about this non-topical non-interesting conversation for ages)
*20-30 min later*
"Friend": So yeah, really proud I managed that conversation.
Me: Yeah so would I… Speaking of conversations, I talked to my French friend yesterday he’s invited me around when I go to France this summer
"Friend": Why do you have to make everything about you? Seriously?! I was talking about my conversation and you cut across with that (sounded like he was finished talking to me)
I know what you’re thinking… “He was joking obviously…” That’s what I thought until Mr. B, another friend who’s pissed at him because of his constant over-zealous pride, copied and pasted me their conversation.
"Friend": (Me) is at it again. Cut across me! I was talking about Japanese and he comes in with French!
(He copied and pasted our conversation to Mr. B, then when Mr. B realized what was happening, copied and pasted it back to me)
Wouldn’t you just want to kick him!?
- PARDON MY FRENCH
Damn, i thought this kind of stuff only went on in grade school and middle school, but its in college and you guys are 25… Its a funny rant.
By the way, i can speak russian, i can actually speak to a russian person in russian for 30 minutes and they will think im russian, funny thing is, im not. My point here is, i only took a russian class once back in grade school, but being around russians alot, i pickep up the language. Man, i cant believe it, I get a A+ every single time. Yea i took some german and spanish classes too, but i aint that good.
Anyways, i think the problem with your freind is something that happened between you two a long time ago, you guys maybe had a argument back in the days and you might of hurt him somehow and he still cant forget it, so any chance he has, he wants to rub things in your face to make you feel bad.
Or, hes just an idiot that wants to show off a little because he knows nothing and has nothing better to do.
You should use the “mute” feature built into you more often. Once you get the point accross that you dont give a s***, he will probably try something else or become a cool freind again.
Meanwhile, you should find yourself a hot girl and start dating her and introduce her to your freind, just make sure your girl is hotter than his and half of your problems will disappear.
If you cant find anyone hot enough, hit up craigslist.org and look up “erotic services” or “adult” in the services section depending on your location, hire someone hot and prove a point. Once your done with the hoe, tell your freind she died in a plane crash, “very believable” since many planes are going down now days and attend someones elses funeral and make a picture of the funeral.
End of story.
Good luck.
Just start speaking Dutch, that scares the hell out of him.
BTW: Kip is a Dutch word for Chicken, are you that.)?
Kindest
Hans
LOL… Yeah, everyone that’s from the Netherlands tells me that (RE: chicken).
Do what I did, and turn your annoying friends into
drug addicts by sneaking heroin into their bloodstream while they are asleep!
Err… So, turn annoying friends into drug addicts and then have them visit your drug rehab website? :/