I Stole Money From My Church

[ I Stole Money From My Church ]   I confess… A few years back, I stole money from a church that I used to attend. I feel really bad and wish that I never did it. I’m very sorry and hope you all can forgive me. I’m sorry church, I’m sorry pastor Tom, and [...]

Blacks, Hispanics, Hindus, Muslims… Hate Them All!

[ Blacks, Hispanics, Hindus, Muslims... Hate Them All! ]   Dear Kip, I’m a white male in the early twenties. I hate Muslims and Hindu people, the groups that wear crap on their heads and have long beards. Every time I see one I remember 9/11 and think I might be a victim next. I [...]

Africa, The Land Of Crime

[ Africa, The Land Of Crime ]   Dear Kip, I am from the Republic of South Africa. Our problem is crime, not sissy stuff like stealing cars, but killing, raping babies and girls to cure AIDS. The younger the victim, the more potent, and victim must scream to wake the healing powers. It is [...]

Dear Diary, The Squirrels Are Evil

[ The Squirrels Are Evil ]   Dear Diary, The squirrels have start visiting the balcony more often. With little effort they scale the backside of the house and raid the balcony. At first they were a welcomed sight, gray, curious, and with an appetite. Little did I know that they were evil squirrels. Their [...]

Full-Time Car Thief

[ Full-Time Car Thief ]   Dear Kip, My best friend’s friend is stealing cars. He steals a few cars a week and always promises that he will stop after a few more cars. He’s even stealing a car as I’m writing this. He’s already been to jail twice, what advice can I give my [...]